Be a good listener and you'll be listen to

The art of being a good listener is a matter of developing good listening habits.   One must appear to be a good listener to the other person so you must signal others that you are vitally interested in what they have to say.   Body language is all-important;   people read your body language and take those signals before they interpret verbal activity.   Often your body language can influence whether there is a meaningful communication process.   Positive body language assures that communication remains open between the parties and that you remain in control of the process.   There are some specific physical actions you can perform that will create the positive signals that are desirable.   Be sure to make eye contact and reinforce it from time to time during the process, when emphasizing a point or responding to a comment.   If seated, sit square to the other person with your feet flat on the floor, if standing, stand at ease square to the other person (you won't fidget).   Cock one ear slightly toward the person and lean forward slightly, this will give the appearance of concentrating on what is being said.

The interview - Strategies for successful inter-personal Communication

In conversation, always respond either by nodding your head, smiling and indicating your agreement or that you have heard what was said.   Sometimes it's suitable to repeat what said to you back to the person who has just finished saying it.   Objections can be successfully handled by repeating them word-for-word back to the objector.   The response often is that that the person will modify the statement nullifying it or at least making it less important.   Don't interrupt, be sure allow the person to finish their thought, you may get ahead of them and be tempted to finish their sentences for them.   Don't be argumentative, stay positive and indicate that they may have a point, then make your suggestion.   By keeping positive you are allowing the other person to keep their dignity and keep the communication open.   Telling a person they are wrong shuts down communication.   People when told they are wrong often stop listening.   When you say " I never thought of it that way" or " You may be right" you then can put the nullifier "but have you considered this?"   The word but nullifies all that came before it.   What you have accomplished is to signaled them that what they say has value without agreeing with it.   Then you can express a modifying statement.   This is a basic conflict resolution strategy.

The main objective is to keep the communication lines open.   Another strategy is to mirror the other persons body language, just do what they do.   If they sit back or shake their head or touch their forehead, you do the same.   You are creating a connection with them that will result in a feeling of closeness between you.

When conflict arises and no agreement seems possible utilize the final strategy CHANGE THE SUBJECT, without any comment just abruptly and completely comment on something different, such as "did you run into heavy traffic on your way down here?   Even if the other person wonders why you change the subject and says so, just smile and say that it was time to do so.   The other person will feel compelled to deal with the remark and will often back off their previous position.   What you have done is to allow the other person to back out of their corner and possibly modify their position.   Do not take ownership of a position unless it is yours.   If you are speaking on behalf of your company or group, do not use words such as I'm sorry, that indicates these are your rules.   Instead, agree with their ability to disagree and state firmly the position again.   All these strategies are to be used with common sense and at appropriate times.