The difference in conforming and choosing to conform

In our society there is a basic understanding of acceptable norms of behavior, these norms are established as decent conduct in a civilized society and often vary from one country to another, thus the saying "do as the Romans do".   In organized religions there are established norms of conduct and lifestyle that you as a matter of free choice you willingly conform to.   You are in fact making informed

Decisions on acceptable conduct within guidelines you willingly conform to.   On the other hand when you are influenced either by concern for your well-being or other factors to conform then you are reacting to stimulus that is in effect manipulating your decision making process.   As our society becomes more complex and challenging, it is very important to enhance our personal self-management skills.   The difficulty with the concept of self-direction is that with it comes accountability for all your decisions.   That in fact does not come easily.   Being accountable can be painful and requires strength of character but can result in tremendous personal growth.   When bad things happen to good people there is a motivation to blame other factors.   Keep in mind that if you don't accept a certain amount of blame then you are giving away power to outside sources.   That mental and emotional commitment results in a loss of self-esteem because you are acknowledging loss of control of the situation.   So simply for growth to take place you must accept personal accountability for everything that happens to you.   What results from this mind set is personal power and a great increase in your self-esteem.   Remember that depression is really anger at loss of control and the resultant helplessness.

There are no situations where you can exercise one hundred percent control but then you can by being accountable in part for what happens to you gain more power over your life.   This is a mindset that impacts on your attitudes about simple life style decisions.   For instance cars don't cause accidents, people do.   Tobacco does not cause smoking; people make a decision to smoke.   Drugs do not cause addiction, people with addictive personalities adopt drugs as a solution to their needs.   Dr. Weil in his book "Chocolate To Morphine" as well as his other books on diet and lifestyle feels that its programming of your mind that creates addiction to any substance.